Monday, November 07, 2005

The Cookie did it, In the Office, With a Glass of Milk

I had another one of those dreams last night where I'm flying. I love those dreams. I take a running start, flap my arms, and whoosh! Up I go, soaring over the grass, the trees, dodging big funny pieces of machinery, etc. Last night I ended up at work, getting hollered at by some big guy with a vein popping out of his forehead. It seems I was expected to miss a Very Important Meeting, and if I missed it, there would be hell to pay.

Then I woke up, thought, "Dammit, I hate waiting until 12:30 for lunch. Good thing the leftover Chinese food will last. Stupid Important Meeting." And I rolled over and went back to sleep and returned to my dream. At which point I realized I was dreaming, looked at the Big Boss Man and said, "This sucks. I wanna go fly again." And I left.

So I have to wonder... if I can fly in my dreams, what in the world am I eating before I go to bed to induce this? Today the answer came to me in a pounding all across the left side of my face. Sugar.

I woke up after my flying dream with the worst sugar hangover I've ever had. Forget alcohol hangovers (I'm such a lightweight when it comes to drinking that I tend to avoid it). This was a full-fledged peanut butter cup cookie hangover.

This sugar hangover was so bad, the very thought of sugar makes me want to run for the nearest salad bar. But it certainly answers the incredible NON-shrinking boob question. Guess I have to watch what I eat in addition to working out if I expect anything on this body to shrink.

Which leads to my next point: I've figured out why the name Honey Bumpers speaks to me so. Honey, for both how sweet I am (*cough, cough*) and for how much I like sugar (when it's not giving me hangovers), and Bumpers for the nickname I have now given my hips, thanks to the aforementioned sugar. (I didn't think Honey Fenders had quite the same ring.)

Posted by Honey :: 4:33 PM :: 5 Comments:

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