Meet My Muse

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Found a new bosom buddy

Last night, I went to a new (to me) Bunco club. It's been over a decade since I last played, so I'd forgotten all the rules, but I haven't really made any new friends since we moved, so I figured it was time to get out and be social. In the end, it was a darn good thing I did, because I found some women that I really think I'm going to click with.

What clued me in? The drool conversation.

It started after we'd finished playing and were walking out toward our cars to go home. The lady I was walking with commented that she was beat, and I realized, for the first time in months, I didn't feel beat. I felt positively energetic, and in a bit of shock over the revelation, I told her so. At the time, I blamed the four cookies I'd eaten (more sugar than I usually get in a week these days, thanks to mini-Mr. Honey zapping me of my sugar and chocolate cravings), but thinking back on it now, it was probably the human interaction.

So my new friend started laughing and said, "Oh, you're gonna crash hard in an hour. I'd be drooling in my pillow."

I nodded and said, "Oh, yeah, that's a given. Especially the drooling part." My new friend started laughing harder, because really, who shares such personal information the first time you meet somebody? So I decided to take it a step farther, because, well, it's what I do.

"But you know what my favorite thing to do is?" I said. "My favorite thing to do is to wait until my husband gets out of bed, then roll over and let it all go on his pillow."

At this point, my new friend is still giggling hysterically, but a woman behind us just gasped. "I'm sorry, excuse me," she said, "but are you talking about farting?"

By the time we'd all picked ourselves up off the floor, I was fairly certain I'd found the group of people I'm supposed to hang out with for the next 18 months. Hooray for new friends!

Labels: ,

Posted by Honey :: 9:51 AM :: 5 Comments:

Post a Comment


Thursday, September 13, 2007

We Deliver, but We Don't Pick Up

Mr. Honey got a package from a "National Delivery Service" in the mail last evening. (I won't say which one, because I suspect they all do the same stupid thing.) The package was a replacement set of earbuds for one of our iPods. As part of the deal with our warranty, Mr. Honey used the enclosed return label to package up the damaged earbuds to send them back to Apple. He told me we'd be getting another delivery today from the same delivery service, and if I happened to be around when they dropped off the new package, could I give the return package to the driver?

Well, sure. That's hardly asking for the world, now is it?

So five minutes ago, the delivery service pulls up, drops the package, and I notice in time to go running out the front door yelling, "Wait! Wait! I've got an outgoing package!"

So the driver stops, stares at me like I've got a booger hanging out of my nose (and in all fairness, I very well could have), and says, "I can't pick it up. I'm not authorized. You'd have to call it in first."

Are you kidding me? The United States Post Office would've picked it up. Since when does a government organization do something more efficiently than a private delivery service? To be fair, she offered to wait in my driveway until I made the phone call, but I'd much rather inconvenience them the same way they've just inconvenienced me. (Yes, I know. Grow up, Honey, it's just a phone call. Well, Mr. Delivery Service People, it's just time and gas you could save if you would've picked up my darn package in the first place, not to mention just plain good customer service.)

Next time I have a special delivery need, I know who I'm NOT going to.


Posted by Honey :: 10:12 AM :: 4 Comments:

Post a Comment


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's a.... Cat?

Yesterday morning, I was peacefully enjoying another of my trips to Weird-Ass Dream Land when I was yanked fully back to reality by this horrendous crashing noise at the side of my bed. Mr. Honey, who had been up for a couple hours and was working at his computer in the office, came flying into the bedroom about the same time my eyes began to focus on the situation at hand, which wasn't easy, considering I didn't have my glasses on or contacts in. Before either of us could say a word, though, this giant black thing came flying out of the top of the closet, landed on my thigh as gracefully as an ADHD cat knows how, and took off for the hills.

Mr. Honey snickered the entire time he was on the floor, gathering his shoe polish supplies and placing them back in the shoebox Jinx had managed to knock off the top closet shelf, occasionally pausing to find the little culprit peeking into the bedroom, at which point he'd affectionately say, "Jinx, you dolt," and then go back to snickering and picking up.

Saffron slept through the whole thing, curled up in a cat bed on the footstool beneath the window in our bedroom. It's like she's got a sixth sense that tells her when Jinx is being Jinx, and when it's time to panic. I love my cats. They entertain me to no end. Thank goodness this time it was 7:30 in the morning instead of 1 AM.

Labels: , , ,

Posted by Honey :: 12:26 PM :: 3 Comments:

Post a Comment


Sunday, September 09, 2007

Intergalactic Princess Rides Again

The other morning I got up, and as I was moving about and trying to wake up, I stopped for a minute to tell Mr. Honey about my dream.

In this particular dream, I was an intergalactic princess again. This time, I was playing poker with a bunch of other intergalactic big-wigs, when I suddenly realized they were going to totally cheat me out of whatever winnings I might have. So I called them on it.

And all around the table, these intergalactic prigs were like, "Yep. You ain't winnin' nothin', princess. Let's just accept it and move on."

But I was like, Hell, No! I wasn't playing poker with cheaters.

So I called in my troops to take out the jackasses who didn't like to lose to a woman.

And then Mr. Honey was really nice to me all day long. I wonder if it was related to my dream?

Labels: , ,

Posted by Honey :: 6:52 PM :: 3 Comments:

Post a Comment


Friday, September 07, 2007

Creativity Needed

Yeah, yeah, I haven't been writing like I should, so I need some creativity there, but I've got something else in mind today. It's my mother's fault. Blame her.

See, yesterday afternoon I got this email from her. Apparently her 400-month wedding anniversary with my dad is coming up at the end of September. (We don't ask why she figures these things out, she just does.) So, since she took the time to let me know about this upcoming holiday, I figured I'd ask what she intended to do about it. What is the traditional 400-month wedding anniversary gift, anyway?

She doesn't know. I don't know. Google doesn't know. But according to google, there are about 4 other people on this planet who've blogged about their X-times-100-month anniversary (where X is any whole number between 1 and... 16?). So, for the sake of the 4 other people on the planet besides my mom who keep track of these things, I've decided it's my duty to define some traditional and modern X-times-100 month anniversary gifts. But apparently pregnancy hormones are messing with my creativity, so I could use some help coming up with ideas. So far, all I've got is a special clock for the 100-month anniversary that counts down to the 200-month anniversary, and also sends emails to everyone in your address book when the 200-month anniversary is coming up, so you don't look like a dork for being the only one who remembers these things.

Anybody else got some ideas?

Labels: , ,

Posted by Honey :: 12:44 PM :: 3 Comments:

Post a Comment