Meet My Muse

Monday, April 30, 2007

Truth vs. Fiction

Doesn't this story just scream "Romance Novel Plot" to you?

In a nutshell, a groom in India got really drunk, and so the bride's family refused to let him wed their daughter. Instead, the groom's younger brother got to marry the bride.

I can't stand the regular network news anymore, but I live for stories like this one. :)

Happy Monday!


Posted by Honey :: 10:25 AM :: 4 Comments:

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Monday, April 23, 2007

Who knew?

I discovered yesterday that one of my kittens has a superpower. I never knew wearing a tuxedo would give Jinx such an amazing calling in life. She's like James Bond in kitten form, except she doesn't need a silly Aston Martin or the latest in technology. All her power is self-contained.

It's not the ninja-fu that my kitten has mastered that makes her a superstar. True, she and Saffron both have the amazing ability of being able to ninja-chop their food and scamper after it as it slides across the floor, then pounce with kitty agility and eat it all up. They've taught themselves to bounce off the walls, Matrix-style, when running through the hallways, which never fails to crack us up. They fly to the top of their cat tree with nimble claws, the sounds reaching our ears only after they're safely perched on top of their worlds, surveying their dominion. But that's not Jinx's superpower either.

Not at all.

My kitten is a super-drooler.

I'd suspected this for a while, but I had yet to catch her in the act of performing her superpower. I'd notice the side effects, the wet drops on my arms after holding her while she was half-asleep and purring contentedly in my arms, but I never definitively saw the source. Yesterday, my suspicions were confirmed.

She'd crawled into my arms as I sat on our love seat, attempting to write. Within seconds, she'd made it clear with a little whimper and a purr, that my job was not to write, but to hold the kitty while she napped. And then I felt the drop.

"I think she just drooled on me," I told Mr. Honey. He grunted, as he was preoccupied with saving the world on X-Box.

A moment later, I felt another drop, so I bent over my kitten and stared at her. She looked back at me, a giant drop of drool protruding from the apex of her little kitty lips, growing larger by the second, until it plopped down onto my arm and was replaced by another drop.

"She is drooling!" I exclaimed. Mr. Honey merely smiled and went back to shooting things.

So, there you have it. My kitten, my Jinx, is a superhero. She can drool with the best of them.

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Posted by Honey :: 10:29 AM :: 5 Comments:

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Just the fax, ma'am

I was sitting at my desk yesterday, minding my own business, when one of the guys walked up to me and peered at my copier/printer/faxer. "Did I get a fax this morning?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Haven't seen any come through, and nothing was sitting there when I got here," I told him.

He frowned. "But that guy told me there was a fax waiting for me. He must be a liar." Then he got this introspective look on his face. "You know what they say about liars," he said gravely.

I kinda just stared at him. I had no idea what "they" say about liars. "What?"

His nose went up a little. "I don't know. I assumed you did."

So I thought about it for a minute, and the light of brilliant inspiration shone down on me, illuminating my office with its punishing light. "Sure," I said. "They say, 'Never trust a liar with the fax.'"

It'll be a long time before we all recover from that one.

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Posted by Honey :: 8:29 AM :: 4 Comments:

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Love/Hate DVD's

Mr. Honey and I watched a couple movies over the weekend. Loved both movies, didn't love both DVD's.

First was Happy Feet. We net-flixed it, and it arrived last week, but we didn't get to it until Saturday night. Finally, I got to see my cute little animated penguins dancing and singing. Woo-hoo! Very cute movie. Mr. Honey wants to buy it. But the DVD itself? VERY disappointing special features. Did they have any cast interviews? Noo-ooo. Did they have a "Making of Happy Feet" documentary? Noo-ooo. Did they show the cast party where the hottie who voiced Memphis held up a sign declaring his undying love for Ms. Honey? Nooo-oooo. I want my Hugh Jackman footage, darn it! (I love you and only you, Mr. Honey. This is one of those silly girl things, I promise.)

The other was Casino Royale, the latest James Bond film. For the record, because of my age, Pierce Brosnan is the only James Bond I've ever known. Also for the record, I absolutely loved Daniel Craig in this role. He was totally James Bond. I'm sold. We watched it Sunday night and both enjoyed the movie a great deal, and we agreed that Daniel Craig was a fantastic choice for Bond. But the special features were all on a separate disc or something, so we didn't even try to see them. I wasn't as disappointed as I was with the Happy Feet lack-of-special-features, but there's a good reason for that. You can replace Pierce Brosnan, but I'll never love James Bond the way I love Hugh.

(Hush, Mr. Honey. You've got Kate Beckinsale, and we both know it.)

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Posted by Honey :: 1:31 AM :: 1 Comments:

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Monday, April 16, 2007

Why I Love My Job

On a Monday morning, before 9 AM, I get to locate table clothes for a lunchtime meeting, and be treated like a goddess for knowing exactly where they are.
On a Monday morning, before 9 AM, I get to crawl under tables in my storage area to dig out a box of creamer.

On a Monday morning, before 9 AM, I get to walk on tables in my stocking feet in order to reset the projectors. Seriously. It's like table dancing at work.

This particular Monday morning, I was too much of a wimp to go outside in 40-degree weather to take my morning walk, so I love my job because it has given me the opportunity to get my exercise in anyway. Life is so good.


Posted by Honey :: 8:56 AM :: 5 Comments:

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Friday, April 13, 2007

Happy Friday!

It has come to the attention of the Honey Daily News that today is an official world holiday: "Blame Someone Else Day." The Honey Daily News decided to create this holiday when the theme of the day became clear, around 8:14 AM Eastern Time, when the man with no eyebrows insisted that he had, too, turned in the temporary badge he borrowed last week, when there is no record of the badge's return and no badge to prove his claim, which led to the declaration that it must be the poor receptionist's temporary replacement who was to blame, because of course it couldn't be the fault of the man with no eyebrows that the badge he borrowed has not yet been returned to its proper place, nor could it be the fault of the receptionist, as she was away vacationing and having a monumental time during the time of the disappearance of the badge.

However, upon performing a bit of research, the Honey Daily News has discovered that not only had Someone Else already invented "Blame Someone Else Day," but it is, in actuality, occurring today.

The Honey Daily News interviewed several witnesses to this morning's definitive example of Blame Someone Else Day, and all reported it was someone else's fault that the man with no eyebrows had somehow discovered this obscure holiday and used it to his advantage. The Honey Daily News knows better, however. For some people, every day is Blame Someone Else Day.

Today, though, the Honey Daily News will blame the pollen, and the creepiness factor of inventing a holiday on a day on which it has already been invented, for its desire to take the rest of the day off and ponder the strange coincidences of life.

Coincidences, by the way, are always someone else's fault.

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Posted by Honey :: 9:21 AM :: 3 Comments:

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Thought for the day

Does a man's manhood have to be straining his jeans in order for him to be sexy?

I've got my own thoughts on the subject, but I'm curious what everyone else thinks.

Oh, and a quick clarification - I was exaggerating in yesterday's post. I don't really know anyone who sprouted trees in their lungs.

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Posted by Honey :: 9:51 AM :: 4 Comments:

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Farewell, Cruel World

Well, it's not looking good here in Georgia. The longer we go without rain, the more convinced I am that I'm being poisoned. Yep, that's right. Darwinism is alive and well in this grand state, and it's taking the form of pollen poisoning.

Seriously, people, I saw a guy walking around the other day hacking up a cloud of pollen. A male coworker told me he watched pollen clouds blow over a field much like dust would during a drought in the midwest. And then there was the lady I work with who went in for a lung scan and came back in tears. Seems she needs surgery to remove the trees that have sprouted in her lungs. Doc said she'll probably make it, but she shouldn't inhale pollen for at least two weeks after the surgery. She's making plans to move to the city. She'd rather die by smog.

Green is pretty, but I'm getting awful tired of it. Itchy eyes, scratchy throats, and congested sinuses are making everyone cranky. Mother Nature, if you're listening, can you please send some rain to wash away all this pollen?

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Posted by Honey :: 8:13 AM :: 3 Comments:

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Problem...

... with sitting next to a bathroom.

Sometimes, you hear strange noises.

And you really, really don't want to know who made them. I have to work with these people. I don't need to know whose butt is the loudest.

Times like these, I hope they don't walk by my desk on their way back to their offices.

Times like these, I make a mental note to not make those noises myself.

Do any of you have coworkers who make bad noises?


Posted by Honey :: 7:25 AM :: 2 Comments:

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Monday, April 09, 2007

Weekend Highlights

Mr. Honey and I spent a long weekend in D.C., visiting friends and hanging out and eating a lot and generally making quote-of-the-week worthy comments. Some highlights:

"I guess fruit isn't a highly-stolen item."
--Mr. Honey, upon emerging from the airplane Wednesday evening to find all the little kiosks and stands closed down, except for 3 baskets of apples, bananas, and oranges, standing there for all the world to indulge in.

"That was quite a monumental morning."
--Me, Thursday morning, after we walked from the metro stop to the Washington Monument, World War II Memorial, signers of the Declaration of Independence Memorial, Vietnam War Memorial, Lincoln Monument, Korean War Memorial, World War I Memorial, Tulip Library, and halfway to the Jefferson Monument.

"Is she drunk?"
"Well, she did just drink a root beer..."
--Mr. Honey and one of our friends discussing my goofy state of mind after a serious sugar buzz. I can't even remember the last time I had three carbonated beverages over a weekend.

"Do you smell brown sugar?"
--Me again, after every mulch bed we passed. I'm not kidding - it smelled like brown sugar!

"I swear, I'm about to just hand you my camera and bend over."
--Yes, me, once again, this time sticking my foot in my mouth in front of one of Mr. Honey's friends as we walked past yet another mulch bed and I once again smelled brown sugar. Since I'd told Mr. Honey a bit earlier that I wanted to lean down and smell the mulch, and he'd responded that I'd better hand over my camera so he could get that on film, I mistakenly assumed he'd understand that I was going to sniff the mulch at ground level to verify that it was the source of the brown sugar smell. Seriously, who's ever heard of mulch smelling like brown sugar? It's just not natural.

"I smell it, too!"
--One of our dear friends, who later in the weekend smelled the brown sugar smell as we walked past more mulch beds.

Hope you all had a fabulous Easter Weekend!

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Posted by Honey :: 10:07 AM :: 4 Comments:

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