Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Used Furniture Salesmen

Mr. Honey and I have been married 5 years, and we've hardly bought a scrap of furniture. I'm sure I've mentioned this before. We've been sitting on second-hand couches for quite a while now, and with a move coming up sometime in the next year, I'm getting colored-wall and new-furniture itch. It's a scary thought, but when we move, I may get to try my hand at color-coordinating a new couch to new carpet and paint the walls a complimentary color. So while we were out and about this weekend, we hopped into a local furniture story to do some pricing. (Mr. Honey and I are nothing if not planners.)

With apologies to any furniture salespeople who visit my blog:
Have you ever wondered if furniture salespeople are the same people who couldn't make it as used car salespeople? Selling furniture and used cars are noble professions - they both put food on the table. But the tactics need some work. See, Mr. Honey and I have been to this furniture store before. We've picked out a lovely bedroom set we plan to purchase after The Big Move. This weekend we wanted to try out couches for comfiness and cost. But have you ever noticed how uncomfortable you can get when seated on a couch in a furniture store while the sales vultures, er, people, circle about every three minutes, looking to make the kill, er, sale?

I understand furniture salespeople work on commission. I do. But when you're not planning to purchase, and you want to be able to visualize this couch in your living room, with you sitting on it watching TV or reading a book, you don't want to visualize the vulture sitting there in your living room with you. You try not to notice the vulture, but you know it's there. And until you can get that couch into your living room all by itself, you just can't get that visual you need in order to feel confident that you've found something and priced it and can work toward saving for it so you're not indebted to the furniture store and their bank for the foreseeable future. (This is especially difficult when you don't know what your new living room will look like, but that's another topic altogether.)

So as Mr. Honey and I made our way back to a couch we found particularly comfortable, and visually pleasing, the vulture returned. Again. This time with her card and a drawing slip. So I looked at Mr. Honey, who had found some new piece of furniture to fiddle with behind the couch, thereby avoiding eye contact. "Mr. Honey, are we interested in entering a drawing for $500 worth of furniture?"
"Not really," Mr. Honey said.

The vulture looked a little surprised. Really, who turns down free money? Well, we do when it comes attached to signing up to receive God only knows what, from regular mailings to constant invitations to apply for the "Earn Dollars for your Furniture Purchase" credit card. So, the vulture starts to ask us to ask for her the next time we're in the store, and I couldn't help myself. I looked her square in the eye and said, "We're not going to buy anything, so we don't want to take up any more of your time. Really. We're moving far, far away, soon, so we're just getting a feel for the furniture market." (If you spend any time at all thinking about that, you'll realize what big dorks Mr. Honey and I are for furniture shopping in a totally different market from where we're planning to make the purchase, but I believe that's the glory of Big Chain Furniture Stores.)

The vulture smiled. "Well, surely there's a Grand Chain Furniture Store where you're going."

I smiled back. "Actually, there's not." Well, there is, maybe, depending on where we move, and we don't know yet where that might be, but odds are good there will be a Grand Chain Furniture Store within a deliverable distance if there's not one in the town exactly, and if there's not, then we will buy the furniture before we move and let the movers ding it all up. *grumble grumble*

So the vulture said, "Okay. Bye." And she turned around and walked away, leaving Mr. Honey and myself to wander the store to our hearts' content without visual interference.

The moral of today's story is, when faced with vultures, don't be a mouse. Just lie. They like that.

Posted by Honey :: 7:47 AM :: 3 Comments:

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