Thursday, March 09, 2006

Such a girl...

I was getting ready for work this morning, wishing it was Saturday already, just as I have every morning my alarm's gone off since Tuesday. Since today is a non-hairwash day (I subscribe to the every-other-day methodology), I used the guest bathroom which has a full tub and more maneuvering room. I use our master bathroom on hairwashing days, because it's a stall just the right size for getting all 2.5 feet of my hair wet along with the rest of my body. Perfect system. And poor Mr. Honey gets all confused when he's home because one week I'll wash my hair Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the next week it's just Tuesday and Thursday. But we're working on that. I'd post a schedule, except every once in a while I get lazy on a weekend or have an accident or other event to force two hair-washing days in a row.

But that's not the point. The point is, this morning I pulled the shower curtain back to turn on the faucet in the shower, and promptly freaked out.

There was a spider in the tub.

Sure, it's smaller than the size of a penny, legs included, but it was a spider. And it was in my bathtub, and I was standing there ready to adjust the water to the right temperature and step into the bathtub, but I was not, under any circumstances, going to shower with a spider this morning. And with Mr. Honey still on his business trip, I had no one but myself to rely on to take care of the problem.

So, I did what any red-blooded girl who screams bloody murder when she finds a spider in her shower would do. I turned the water on him. It was a brutal fight, but it was the only way to get rid of him without having to deal with spider guts. I. Hate. Spider guts. Actually, I hate all bug guts. Best day with those silly palmetto bugs that I ever had was when I found one sitting on the toilet (no, I'm not making this up). Sprayed that puppy with raid, he fell in the toilet, and I flushed him. Bu-bye, big ol' ugly palmetto bug.

Back to the spider. He got me thinking. I'm 5'6" tall, weigh what a healthy big-boned American girl with 15 pounds to lose should weigh (come on, you didn't really think I'd disclose my weight in public, did you?), and this little spider was a tiny little thing that probably didn't weigh an ounce and probably couldn't have bit me even if he wanted to. So, why was I so scared of him?

It's society's fault. They give us movies like Arachnophobia and teach little girls that it's a man's job to kill all the bugs in the woods before we go camping. What would our ancestors from just a hundred years back say about how I behaved with this spider? They'd probably think I was a stupid useless girl who couldn't find her way out of the woods without a compass to save her life. Or maybe even with a compass. Er, they'd probably be right. But I'll tell you what I can do. I can teach people how to put borders around cells in Excel. I can fix Powerpoint presentations. I can communicate with friends (that I may never meet in person) all over the world instantaneously. I'd like to say I can outshop anyone, but I'm not that much of a girl.

My spider this morning was just a simple reminder of how complicated life's gotten. A hundred years ago, his ancestors had never seen the inside of my drains. I'm going to hell.

Have a great day!

Posted by Honey :: 8:49 AM :: 7 Comments:

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