Friday, April 14, 2006

Signs of the Apocolypse, Part... Something.

I swear on all that's holy, my water bottle just tried to talk to me. I wish I was making this up, but it's the only explanation that makes sense.

Since I don't speak water-bottle, I'm not sure what it said, but I kinda doubt it was a warm-fuzzy Good Friday greeting. It sounded kinda like, "Meeep-meep, mao-meep-mao, meep-meep-mao." Does anyone know Morse Code? I really think it's trying to communicate with me here.

You're probably wondering why I have a bottle of water on my desk. Since I don't know what it was trying to tell me, I'll tell you about my water. Every morning, I grab two quart-sized Nalgene bottles of water from home and bring them with me. I drink a lot of water. A lot. And lemme tell you, it's not an appetite suppressant like this skinny "diet experts" claim it is. Believe me, I'd know. But it wasn't my Nalgene bottles talking to me. It was The Other Bottle, the 10.1-fluid ounce Dasani water bottle from the vending machine.

So, since I bring a half gallon of water with me to work every morning, you may be asking yourself why I've got a bottle of vending machine water on my desk. Well, there's a simple answer. I bought it and put it there when I lost the fancy toin-coss game (damn... I just re-read this before posting and realized I actually wrote toin-coss for coin-toss...) we do here in the office to see who buys who water. I lost because I trusted the wrong person yesterday, and in a supreme gesture of idiocy, I bought myself a bottle of water when I bought everyone else's drink. Nevermind that I was about to leave work and still had 10.1 ounces of water left in one of my Nalgenes. But now that my Dasani water bottle has spoken, I must assume that it wasn't a supreme gesture of idiocy that led me to buy it; it was fate.

Poor little Dasani water bottle. I guess it just needed to let off some steam. Or it wanted to see if my Sydlexia would manifest itself in my blog this morning.

Posted by Honey :: 9:06 AM :: 6 Comments:

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